Rabu, 07 Juni 2023

A Love Letter



This note shouldn't be here,
but here it is

I have written this love letter years ago
You are the destination that is on my mind
I've been thinking the whole time
I'm going to give you this love letter someday,
because I want you to be the one to read and reply to it

But I think I should keep this love letter in the envelope longer
And I will never hand it to you

'What kind of house do we need?
should the walls be painted blue or beige?'
'What kind of food do you like?
the spicy or the sour one?'
'What kind of coffee would you like me to serve you every morning?
should I put some sugar in it?'
'Will you massage my body after long hours of work,
like you always do when I say I feel tired?'
'What school we must choose for our future kids?'

It's just some of them,
the full one will never be read by you
Those curiosities of mine will never be answered by you

Those places in the West that we have talked about will never be visited by us
And the stadium of your favorite football club will never be visited by us too
I'll never be able to hold your hand while we're walking around Paris someday
They will be sad because they have never felt how strong our love is

It feels strange and I feel sad

But I want you to know and remember

I love you
I do love you with all of my heart
I wish I had been shown you right
I wish you could feel my love well
I wish that I had more time to show love again

I made mistakes and it hurts you too

But sometimes love is just not enough

And you have the right too
You have the right to choose
You have feelings to feel

Perhaps the love for me also disappeared

You left me with lots of questions hanging,
with wounds that may never heal,
with the pain that may be, I always feel

Sometimes the memories come up,
while at the coffee shop we used to visit,
and while in the cinema we used to go

It has always been a part of my life

Your presence was once like a summer breeze,
a relief like water found in the middle of a desert

Now I hope you find what you've been longing for,
the things from my offer that may not be enough for you

I will keep this envelope of love letters
Perhaps one day I will hand a love letter to someone,
who is willing to read the full one,
and answer them wholeheartedly,
and I am willing to know what the answers are